“Like the work of an ER Worker, this story has no beginning, middle, or end. It is a snapshot. A collections of small , moments where we can change a trajectory, a butterfly effect. I am sharing a few of my most memorable moments for this project.

Emergency Response is a heart wrenching, amazing, often thankless, and difficult job. I love it, but it takes its toll on all of us. One of the highlights of my job was being able to provide a small gift or point of light and care to the families that I often have such a tumultuous relationship with. In a job full of sadness and chaos, even our smallest points of light hold a huge significance for us.

I have had my heartbroken by children detained with nothing but the clothes on their back, and then been able to watch their eyes light up when I hand them a bag of new things, when sometimes they have never had them before. I recently was able to give a bag of young women’s supplies to a 10-year-old girl who had suffered severe physical abuse at the hands of her step-mother for years. She was held in a Mental Health Clinic for 2 weeks due to suicidal ideations. When I visited her in her new foster home she ran to me and threw her arms around my waist and hugged me, exclaiming that she was so excited for the lanyard making kit I had given her. She joyfully showed it to her new foster siblings, and they fell easily into play, the way children do.

I have had parents who looked at me with hatred and suspicion suddenly let their guard down when I am able to provide a new pair of shoes or a winter coat for their children.

I had a mother who had just recently left a DV relationship with a man who ran an abusive polygamist cult in his home. She took her 5 children and ran with nothing but the clothes on their back. Jay made me bags of clothing to give them and I was startled when she broke down in tears and reached out to hug me. She exclaimed that she never would have imagined that DCFS would take the time to care about her and something small like giving her children some new clothes and backpacks.

I had a Maternal Aunt who took her sister’s infant child after the mother had neglected the child due to a severe opiate addiction. The infant came to the office with her hair, skin, clothing, and belongings so deeply saturated with cigarette smoke that you could barely breathe around the child and her things without coughing. I was able to give this amazing resource relative enough diapers and clothes and washcloths/hygiene products to get through the next few days until she could replace all the things destroyed by cigarette smoke.

I had a 16 year old girl who was a victim of Commercial Sexual Exploitation, sold by her own Mother out of her own home to pay for her Mother’s methamphetamine addiction. The girl was angry, violent, and shut down. She did not want to leave the only home she had ever known. She cussed and me and threatened me. I was able to give her a new backpack, some nail polish, books…simple things. I saw her eyes soften to have someone offer her something simple, asking nothing in return. I wanted no part of what she had been forced to give, but instead gave freely to her.

The obstacle we overcome are the often sad, contentious, and adversarial relationship that many parents and youth have with our department. Rarely are our actions met with joy, gratitude or favor. Especially when you are an Emergency Response worker like myself.